3 Things I wish I could go back and tell myself before I landed the first ‘Yes’

Almost a year ago, I quit my full time job so that I could focus all my energy into starting a career in Web Development.

Whilst working I realised that I wanted to become a fully fledged Developer and doing courses in the evenings after work and in the weekends was really taking its toll on me, not to mention the separate stresses surrounding the role that already existed! For the sake of my mental wellbeing and in order to pursue a dream, I swallowed the hard pill of becoming unemployed.

Now there is nothing wrong with being out of work. Especially if it is within reason. But I have been working since I was in my teens. One could say that it is an opportunity to finally take a break but for me, it was a big source of anxiety; the thought that I no longer had something to wake up for in the morning (when I struggle enough already as it is!) and I no longer had income.

This was a running theme for me - how hard I was on myself. Truthfully it still is. But at that time, instead of acknowledging my bravery, I just saw impulsiveness. So..

1. There is nothing wrong with dropping practicality for your happiness from time to time

If I hadn’t swallowed that “hard pill” I wouldn’t be where I am now in the first place. I recently got my first opportunity. In August, I will officially be starting my new role as an Apprentice Full Stack Developer.

2. There will be companies and people not worth shedding tears over

I got ghosted by a recruiter. That’s right. One time I got a call from a recruiter who offered me a junior role. They saw my CV and we had a chat over the phone so they were aware of the level I was at. They were enthusiastic about my prospect nonetheless and reassured me that the employer was specifically open to taking in candidates with no experience. You know where this is going.

After researching the company and perfecting my cover letter for 3 hours, in the end the recruiter did not even confirm if they had chosen to forward my letter over or not. I followed up twice and never received a response. Thankfully I had no emotional investment in the role. Not even the slightest. It was too good to be true. I took so long writing my cover letter because I really do just struggle with formal pieces of writing. But the outcome certainly didn’t fail at making me feel like a bag of d*cks anyway.

I was also unsuccessful in my first application for an apprenticeship. This one hit me the hardest. I understand fully that it was nothing personal. In fact there was even a problem with the commuting distance which I believe was a large factor as to why I did not get it. Still, it broke my heart reading the email. I felt so small. Apprenticeships are supposed to be a lot more forgiving for candidates who have large gaps in experience and knowledge. And I managed to convince myself that it was because I wasn’t good enough to meet even the lowest level of expectations or standards.

To make matters that little bit worse, the support from the apprenticeship provider was basically non-existent. The most they did was to arrange the time and date for my interview but they did not have a conversation with me prior to that about the role, the company and the process. Nor did they check on me or at least provide me with feedback after I was rejected. In fact, I received the rejection email directly from the employer, who also did not respond to me when I asked for feedback regarding my interview twice. Again.

In comparison, the process I went through to get my apprenticeship now was swift but also very thorough. The people involved from the apprenticeship provider were so hands on and genuinely supported me too as the candidate and not just the employer. The interviews I had and my interaction with the employer is by far also the best interview experience I have ever had. I understand why I cried, it was okay and it was natural. But there truly are companies and/or people that exist in the world of work that will not be worth getting upset over. Best believe.

3. Your passion truly can bring you places

Like I mentioned, being hard on myself was a running theme. I reached a point where I was starting to truly believe that I would never be good enough. Not talented enough, not experienced enough, just not enough (I give you permission to play a drinking game out of how many times I say “enough”). I was convinced that even my passion was not going to cut it. Whenever I did get feedback, I would constantly be told that my passion and enthusiasm showed through but I was still not succeeding. I would be repeatedly told that I just needed people who would see that passion and take a chance on it.

This is for me but also mostly for you now, dear reader. It’s true. There may come a time where you start thinking otherwise but let even the smallest glimpse of hope convince you. It. Really. Is. True. Even if that belief disappears from time to time, when it does resurface, grab a hold of it! When you are truly passionate over something, you inadvertently manifest. It is impossible that not even one person would ever want to invest on you. So enjoy yourself and hold on to that passion of yours! It really will be worth it ❤️